The beauty of nature

Sometimes talking a stroll and watching the beauty around you is all you need. Here’s some pictures I took on my stroll last night:

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Backing out last minute

Making plans and saying to yourself you will do things and then last minute deciding that it’s a bad idea. I have done this so many times over the years and I still do. While I know now that it is more normal than I originally thought, it’s still a problem that I struggle with often.

Last night my partner and I had planned to go to the cinema, I had got ready and was prepared to go out. However, there was a slight problem and my partner came back later than expected so we had to go a bit later. Before we left he asked ‘do you think this movie is gonna be any good?’ which set me of on all of the anxious thoughts and questions about whether I should go see this movie or not. So with me feeling this way and him not being sure if he wanted to see the movie anymore, we stayed in.

I know I’ve missed so many opportunities and gained to many fears because of letting my anxiety stop me from doing things; backing out last minute from the plans I’ve made. In conclusion, future me remember this and try to do things, see things even if you don’t think they are going to be any good because you never know.

Puppy person comparison

Sometimes I feel like I was born into the wrong species because while humans are thought to be different to other animals, a ‘higher’ species if you will but we have a lot of relatable qualities with other animal and I think I would prefer to be something like a puppy. There are some features of their life that I would feel like apply to mine and other humans:

  1. We should go out at least once a day for a walk otherwise we will get irritable.
  2. Need to be fed on time or we may just sit in the kitchen talking about how hungry they are.
  3. Needs to be given attention and love.
  4. Shouldn’t be left alone for to long or will become destructive.
  5. Positive reinforcement goes a long way.
  6. Sometimes we just need to sit in a corner and settle for a bit.
  7. In a new environment we need to do our rounds and sent the place.
  8. Cuddles and lying next to the person we live with is always a good way to spend our time.
  9. We get over excited about people coming home and the little things in life.
  10. Once you’ve earn our trust we are hard to get rid of.



picture taken from this video

Just thought it was an interesting incite into the similarities between dogs and humans.

An observation of self sabotage

Recently I’ve started noticing something in relationships of those with mental health issues, maybe it’s even just a general thing but there is a tendency for those with insecurities or people who are unhappy to self sabotage. To be it seems that it becomes a habitual thing of every time someone is happy and they feel even a slight thought that they don’t deserve it, that they will try to ruin it. Most people do it completely unintentionally and don’t even realise they are doing it, maybe it’s just human nature or maybe ‘normal’ sane people don’t do it. However, I see it often enough for one to assume that it happens to most people.

I find that it happens often because people don’t feel that they are deserving of what ever happiness they are feeling or even of the person providing this happy feeling. I’ve noticed a good few people that are closest to myself doing it, especially in relationships. It becomes somewhat a feeling of this is going well so why am I questioning it or looking for a way out sometimes even leading to feelings for others as a way of saying I don’t deserve this person maybe I’d be better suited being single and able to be with others.

It seems so irrational to me that one should feel this way but it is a very common thing to feel. I have a friend that once described themselves as destructive when they are on a low and don’t know why, this makes a lot of sense with the feeling I am observing in this post. But the only thing I can say in response to this feeling is: it’s irrational, KEEP FIGHTING it and you are worthy of all the happiness you encounter.