The need for a hobby

Recently, I have been struggling to keep my self on track with everything in my life and I seem to be spending my time worrying about things rather than actually doing anything. The issue is even when I stop worrying enough to attempt to do anything I lack the motivation to.

Finding myself in this predicament the only way I have found to deal with the lack of doing anything is by the means of hobbies. I have been doing my ‘hobbies’ or at least things that I enjoy in the hope that this cheers me up enough to do somethings I have to do like work and essays. So far it has been useful.

For example: I have done some drawing recently with has made me feel positive and some what happy enough to do some work. (see inserted pictures)


So … a note to future me and anyone that may be reading this:

  • do the things that make you happy frequently and don’t just forget about them with all the stress of what you have to do. Do what you want to do.
  • try and make sure they are active or accomplishing something ie. a drawing or building something or even going for a walk
  • while YouTube or Netflix may make you happy in the short term they are not hobbies and are fine for short periods but try and do something active, it will help more.

All I want for Christmas is…


Gift giving is hard in a first world country because when someone wants something they will often just buy it for themselves. It’s hard because I would love to give something someone needs. When I was younger some of the best gifts were things like clothes because I needed them and would use them throughout the year.

Being a student technically is living below the poverty line but there are so many people that are worse off. I guess I just wanted to write a post about buying what is needed not just buying things for the sake of having a gift. Most of the things on my list are simple but I would use throughout the year but if I don’t get them then I’ll probably just buy it for myself when I get money in again.

Just want to be warm this winter…

I made a cosplay

So with MCM London comic con happening tomorrow I thought I’d post about my recent endeavours to create a costume for this event.

Materials needed were:

  • Navy blue cotton fabric
  • Matching navy blue stretchy jersey fabric
  • A square of grey fabric
  • Light blue paint

I doubt many could guess from that what I will be going as from this list but I’m going to be BABYDOLL from Suckerpunch. Which is a navy blue Japanese school girl outfit.

Because it is a public event in London I will not be bringing any weapon fake or otherwise. But my cosplay should be sufficient enough for people to tell. The unfortunate thing is my sewing machine stopped working so I had to hand stitch it all.

This post is manly to look back on with pride and to remind myself of this time. But in 2 weeks I made: a pleated skirt, navy crop top and grey scarf thing. Probably would have be better and cheaper to by the parts instead.

Pictures and experience post to follow 🙂

Mental health awareness day

It’s October 10th 2016 now and today is important for so many reasons but it shouldn’t just be about today because people suffer with mental health every day. Awareness is so important so that the world becomes a easier and more friendly place for those who suffer with mental heath issues. Allowing for more understanding and so that people don’t feel so isolated from everyone else.

Today I wanted to share 5 things to remember when it is particularly bad:

  1. You are not alone
  2. You are loved
  3. It’s not your fault
  4. Have the faith that it gets better and the strength to carry on
  5. You are stronger than you think

I know it might not seam like it but there are better days ahead. No matter how dark it seems there is light in your future.

Life update

So I haven’t posted here in a while mainly because I’ve been uninspired and unmotivated but also because I’ve been busy. My health also hasn’t been great but that’s another thing entirely. I went to the glam wedding and looked fabulous though maybe a little over dressed and there is a video on my channel of the make up I wore: Video here.

Earlier this week I was thinking of posting a new depression log and saying how things had been going okay and that it does get better. Yet this week has shown me that it’s still not gone, I had just been coping with it better. Now I’m stuck riding out the wave again waiting for this feeling to subside.

I finally got a job, a part time catering job. It makes me happy to know I’m earning money and that I’m not useless; it was helping and cheering me up. I however, was cheered up by it while I was on still waters and now the depression is looming again, clinging on to me the job is dreary and stressful. I don’t enjoy it and as a server in catering you are not treated well at all. I get shouted at if there is one crease in my white shirt I have to wear, even though they ask you to bring it to location in a bag which crinkles it. I haven’t had many shifts and I’m already fed up with it, I have never had a job that has treated me so poorly.

Unfortunately, I feel that this job has triggered me into falling back a step in my mental health recovery. The company do all sorts of events and recently a lot of weddings, my last shift was a wedding. I don’t know whether it was: the amount of people; being shouted at constantly; the fact that I have had no training so did the wrong thing; or me just feeling the pressure but it provoked me to have a panic attack. I haven’t had a panic attack for such a long time but this job pushed it. Needless to say I’m not their favourite employee and won’t be offered as many shifts now.

No job is worth risking your mental health but I will keep trying to make sure I don’t let anxiety or depression hold me back.

Suicide squad review

Let’s start this off by saying that I love the concept of the suicide squad, I really enjoyed the depiction of them in arrow and various cartoons they have been in. The brief alluding to them in Smallville as well. So it is fair to say I am a fan. I also adore a lot of DC villains and anti-heroes they are perhaps even my favourite characters over the actual superheroes. This may make my view more educated then most but maybe a little biased. Now with that out of the way I can get on with the opinion.

Most fans first objection will always be that it’s not true to the comics but to be fair what movie is true to the origin? the answer being very few. There were a lot of creative turns taken with the characters such as the Joker and Harley’s relationship being a bit too attached and fairy tale. Or deadshot’s dream being to kill the batman rather than be around for his daughter. But the movie was suppose to introduce and revamp characters. Not change them but make them into main characters and give them a make over for their full feature (not saying I like all the changes but it is what it is).

The plot was a bit lost in this film because with 5+ villain back stories to show they didn’t really make the plot the thick bit. To be fair if they did it would probably turn out as a very long movie, I mean look at watchmen. However, the plot of the film was very lacking and far too set on Harley and Deadshot’s scenes. Making it move of a let’s wait for a Will Smith action scene rather that getting involved in the story.

Although both issues pre-stated are big problems with the film the worst part is probably the actual production of it. With editing and contingency errors being left, right and centre. Though there are a lot of flaws in this movie I’d still give it 3 stars it’s not terrible, I just wouldn’t pay to see it. Worth watching if your just in it for the oneliners and to see Harley in her first live action role.

P.s. has to be said the bronze tiger should have been in this, as one of the original squad. Also would add a beefcake factor for all thoughts into men.

Who themes a wedding ‘glam’?

A wedding is an event that family and all type of relation attend. The idea of glam baffles me to start with as there is not a clear cut form of it or style. But when asked for a further explanation bond theme came up. As someone who is aware of the age range I’m not sure all the women would quite suit the bond girl look.

It’s a hard idea to find a dress for because glam you don’t want to look trashy but it’s not elegant either. The wedding in question is my boyfriend’s mum’s so I am trying to make sure I look nice and presentable. Bond girls are notorious for there sexy appearance but to appear sexy in this crowd seems like a call for embarrassment. I want to look good but not too good.

The colours for glam are generally quite dark or white and red. It’s a bit odd to wear white to a wedding. Black seems morbid and red seems too much. My go to colour is blue but that will clash with a member of the family I don’t want to clash with so I just don’t know. Any advise would be lovely…

My theory about jobs

Why is it so hard to get a job now? Why are people always complaining about the lack of them? Unemployment always seems to be on the rise and people wonder why. I have a thought I’d like to put out there… the population is growing everyday and so are the amount of people who need jobs but money is able to expand at the same rate.

If we went back in time to before the feminist movement only half the population worked if that; it was frowned upon for women to have a job. Even for many years after this women choose to stay at home with their children.

Now I’m not against equality in anyway or anyone wanting to work but I have to wonder what is from every couple there was a stay at home parent. Would that mean there would be enough jobs to go round and thus more money for each job?

Two income households seems the only way to survive now but not everyone wants to work and it is a full time job on it’s own running a house hold and being the main care giver. Men can do it to I know I’d like a house husband and for me to work, equally I’d be happy as a house wife or full time mum.

Summer blues

So university is finished for summer, I had my last exam about a week ago and since then things have been a bit of a blur. There were a lot of end of year events which were filled with so many people that it’s hard to remember everything that happened and it was just one event after another. However, the events have stopped now and people are going home, there is very little to do and not much open on campus. I guess things are starting to slow down and that should be relaxing, especially with the weather being quite nice at the moment. I’ve had a couple days of introverted relaxing in other words being on the computer watching videos all day, which is pretty chill. But it’s getting slightly unhealthy, I can feel that staying inside is giving me headaches and making me tired. I’m starting to miss the routine of it all and having a reason to get up in the morning. Summer just seems a bit weird. The ideal would be to go out and have fun with friends but most people are either working or have left back home. I don’t want to spend all the sunny days on my own or inside. *sigh* I guess that all I wanted to say.